Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I am Lauren, scarf enthusiast

We all know those people. We don't actually know them, but they have somehow worked their way into our lives through no direct effort of their own- just by looking the way they look, wearing the things they wear, doing the things they do, or simply being who they are. Currently in my life there's Weird Hat Girl, Jesus (the shoe-less bearded fellow), and Renaissance Boy, just to name a few. And I can only assume that if I were to step out of my body and see myself walking around town on a regular basis, this me-less me would likely come to be known as Scarf Girl.

I am fully aware of the ridiculous frequency of my scarf-wearing. Some girls wear necklaces, some wear earrings, some wear scrunchies. I wear scarves. To me, scarves are the ultimate accessories- they (have the potential to) look fabulous AND serve a functional purpose. I guess some equivalent accessories could be watches, belts, and bags- all accessories that, when done right, can add a little something to a look without appearing superfluous. You are going to wear these necessary accessories anyway, so why not make them work to your advantage?

Okay, okay, maybe my scarves don't ALWAYS serve a purpose of warmth. I used to have a hard time accepting scarf-wear in warm weather, but I've recently deemed it appropriate to wear scarves in this not-so-scarf-worthy weather, just because I love them as accessories THAT much! BUT if your are going to try this- wearing a scarf purely as an accessory- it is crucial that you do it the right way. Scarves as accessories MUST be wrapped/tied in an appropriate fashion. That doubling over into a loop and pulling through absolutely will NOT cut it. Come ON! Be creative with your scarf! Try new things! Take risks!

Though I've acquired a number of scarves over the past few years, since the onset of my scarf enthusiasm, none have impacted my life quite like my green scarf... my staple accessory. This scarf has seen the world. We first met in London nearly 4 years ago and have been best friends ever since!

2005- In London, where we first met... the beginning of a beautiful relationship (PLEASE overlook my ignorance of the importance of creative scarf-wrapping)

Same trip. Now Mr. Green Scarf has the pleasure of experiencing Paris

Fall 2006- Blue Ridge Mountains (scarf barely visible but most definitely there)

Spring 2007- mountains again

Fall/Winter 2007- 2 of my very favorite childhood friends

Fall 2008- purely an accessory

So, as you can see, we've shared many fond memories, and there are surely many more to come!
Until next time,
(the fabulously unashamed) Scarf Girl

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I am Lauren, tights are not pants enthusiast

The wearing of tights as pants is an abomination.
sure in the context of sports, ballet, hair metal, and renaissance fairs, tights function as suitable leg coverings, but still they are not pants.
No. These are not activities that transform tights into pants; these are historically acceptable acts of PANTLESSNESS.
Tights as pants leave nothing to the imagination. Tights as pants are an affront to those of us who PREFER NOT TO KNOW the most intimate details of their neighbors' bodies.
Tights as pants are the fashion equivalent of Too Much Information. This gratuitous divulgence of assets repels where the tights-as-pants wearer presumably hopes to entice.
We have tired of tolerating attempts to force tights into this non-native garment category, and have decided to do something about it!"

I'm joining the movement.
Matters have gotten WAY out of hand and it's obvious something must be done. I was convinced the legging trend had died out at LEAST a year ago, but boy was I wrong. Things have only intensified. Not only are girls (of all shapes and sizes) still wearing these spandex ACCESSORIES under dresses, but faaaaar too many of these girls have somehow forgotten what an accessory actually is and have begun to wear the said accessory in lieu of pants! An accessory by definition is a subordinate or supplementary item. Tights are accessories and therefore ought to be worn in addition to something else (like pants....) is it really so difficult to grasp?

Yesterday, I found myself repeatedly disgraced and disturbed by the fashion choices of my peers. This says a lot, considering my relatively low expectations of girls my age. It was coooooold outside, and I saw at least 10 girls (I quit counting after reaching this ghastly number) prancing around with nothing but a layer of spandex suctioned to their legs. In that kind of weather, leggings ought to be worn in addition to pants, not instead!! I'm sorry, but this is unacceptable. You don't see men walking around in their long johns, do you? So why in the world do these girls think it's acceptable to walk around in their under-garments?? I will never, ever understand.

Like I said, I'm officially joining the Tights Are Not Pants Movement. I will post flyers, preach, protest- whatever it takes to knock some sense (and class) into these girls.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

I am Lauren, joint-popping enthusiast

This isn't even a confession; it's a well-known fact. Anyone who has ever spent more than 30 seconds in my presence has likely heard the sounds of my incessantly noisy joints. Notice, I'm not too quick to attribute this noise to my joint-cracking compulsion (of which I'm well-aware and to which I will readily admit). I pop both voluntarily and involuntarily. Whether or not my voluntary popping contributes to the involuntary or vice versa, I'm not entirely sure, but I do believe there is a difference.

Never do I intentionally pop my knees, but you can bet that every time I squat down to get something out of my floor-level cupboard (in the kitchen that I share with 6 others) the sound of my relatively youthful knees will be heard throughout the house. 19-year-old knees shouldn't be making that much noise- am I wrong? Well, whether or not they should, they do. Other joints that often unintentionally pop are my hips. But, I am guilty of consciously popping them as well; they seem to always need relieving.

My fingers on the other hand… these appendages I do intentionally pop (whether or not this is a conscious act, though, could be debated) constantly throughout the day. As it is for many, popping the joints in my fingers has become some kind of nervous habit or compulsion. It’s just something I do, without even thinking about it.

Does this worry me? In a sense, yes, because I know habits like this are rather repulsive to some and simply annoying to most. I should probably be more aware of those around me, and how my nervous habit is perceived. But the good news is, apparently I’m not popping my way to swollen knuckles and arthritis! On multiple occasions, my concern for this seemingly unhealthy habit has led me to various medical websites that have informed me that those are all myths; joint popping does not, I repeat, does NOT contribute to arthritis.

Honestly, I’m still not entirely convinced. I constantly feel as though my joints are begging to be popped. And the more I give into their pleas, the more they expect from me. When I pop out of physical necessity, the action/practice looses a little something special. I know, I’m kooky, but feel an odd sense of satisfaction when I get a good popping. When I first wake up in the morning, my neck pops like no other time in the day. And in the evening before bed, I get/ give myself a good back adjustment (the best of which come from my mom!)

Perhaps if I consciously cut back a bit on my habit, I might be able to better enjoy it when I do choose indulge. Who knows? Addiction is interesting. There must be motivation enough to quit/ cut back the habit, enough to outweigh the pleasure or satisfaction it brings. If the “myths” about arthritis were true, believe me I’d quit on the spot (or try to at least) but for now, I will continue to allow my popping pleasures to repulse and perturb those around me, but with an added slight consideration for those I sincerely love and respect, particularly repulsed roommates and perturbed parents.