Sunday, August 30, 2009

I am Lauren, bare butt enthusiast

I'm not sure exactly when my enthusiasm for butts began, but it goes back as far as I can remember. As a young dancer, I was often referred to as "duck-butt" and "shelf-butt" by our resident costume lady/annoying stage mom. I think she was just jealous because her daughter didn't have one. Rather than be embarrassed, I chose to embrace my bum, and in doing so I developed a habit of embracing the bums of others as well. My elementary school years were spent butt-bumping, butt-smacking and even at times butt-squeezing. Why, you ask? Shock value... humor... it's funny, no? Well, funny it may be, but I've learned it's not always the most appropriate behavior. I've since taught myself to control the impulse to smack, and now choose to channel my posterior enthusiasm in a much less tangible... much more visual way.

I don't know what it is. There's just something about a bare behind that really gives me the giggles. After all, every rear end does have a wise crack! (sorry, sometimes I can't help myself) No, but really... butts are truly amusing, don't you think? Everything about them... the smooth and squishy "cheeks," the strategically placed "crack." This must say a lot about my sense of humor... is there a name for this?
This little boy is simply too cool for words...
You must imagine my absolute excitement when I found, in the children's isle at Barnes & Nobles, a book entitled The Day My Butt Went Psycho!. Like any 8 year old boy, I (not quite 20 at the time) nearly wet my pants with excitement. The title alone had me drooling with anticipation. How brilliant! After flipping through and reading several passages aloud to my mother, I skipped to the check-out counter to buy the coolest book of all time.
"An epic tale of one brave boy and his crazy, runaway butt. Can Zack save the earth from butts gone berserk? Can he defeat the biggest, ugliest, meanest butt the world has ever seen? More important- will Zack and his butt ever find true happiness?"
It's really so entertaining. The first page warns, "If you are a parent or a teacher or even if you're just over 18, put this book down now! You won't like it. You won't understand it. You will be totally grossed out by it." Hmmm... I wonder what this says about me? I encourage you to and go and play the "Move Your Butt" game on the publisher's website!

Did I mention I've been thinking about getting a tattoo?!?!

And a photo from one of my favorite artists... Spencer Tunick... famous for gathering thousands upon thousands of bare butts in one place at one time and capturing it all on film!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

I am Lauren, Bop It enthusiast

Earlier this week, while browsing through a very mediocre wanna-be antique store, I came across one of the most entertaining (perhaps more so transfixing) toys of my childhood/adolescence, the Bop It. My mom insisted that mine was somewhere in the garage, but at $2 I couldn't bear to leave it on the shelf. I of course had to give it a practice run, just to make sure all the parts were in working order, and found myself immediately hooked. I fondly recall my Bop It days, during which "Just one more round!!!" was a phrase that frequented my vocabulary.
Needless to say, I've decided to start boppin' it again. I'm a few years out of practice, but I'm confident I can train my way back to the skills I had during my Bop It glory days. The thing about this game is that it becomes terribly annoying to anyone within listening proximity, who isn't invited to play. So one either must play when he/she is entirely alone OR convince some friends to join in the fun. Luckily, it has several playing options, one of which is the group "pass it" setting. Even when I play on my own, I like to use this setting because that "pass it" beat is just so darn catchy! If you haven't already got it stuck in your head...

You might be surprised at how many people have posted videos of themselves doing this... or not... I was...

I've been thinking about inviting some friends over next weekend just to catch up after a long summer of jobs, vacations, adventures, etc.... and now I know I MUST. Board games are great, but I'm pretty confident my new Bop It will be a real hit! Until then, I figure I ought to practice every spare moment I get... like this girl...?

Friday, August 14, 2009

I am Lauren, Awkward Family Photos enthusiast

Just this morning I came across this magnificent blog/site, Awkward Family Photos. I can't get enough of these images! Professional family photos, in general, have always seemed pretty ridiculous to me, most likely because only few of my family exist. Actually, probably only one that I can think of, and it was taken nearly 20 years ago for a church directory. Perhaps this shortage of family photos in my life has something to do with the fact that my parents were/are divorced... but I prefer to think that it's more a matter of taste. They had sense enough to know that this genre of professional photography is beyond cheesy, and at times darn creepy. And here's proof... no commentary necessary...

What?!? I think this might be the most frightening of them all, ha!! As for the others, I think they speak for themselves... I'm starting to think photos like these are the reason I fear being photographed...