I am Lauren, bare butt enthusiast

I'm not sure exactly when my enthusiasm for butts began, but it goes back as far as I can remember. As a young dancer, I was often referred to as "duck-butt" and "shelf-butt" by our resident costume lady/annoying stage mom. I think she was just jealous because her daughter didn't have one. Rather than be embarrassed, I chose to embrace my bum, and in doing so I developed a habit of embracing the bums of others as well. My elementary school years were spent butt-bumping, butt-smacking and even at times butt-squeezing. Why, you ask? Shock value... humor... it's funny, no? Well, funny it may be, but I've learned it's not always the most appropriate behavior. I've since taught myself to control the impulse to smack, and now choose to channel my posterior enthusiasm in a much less tangible... much more visual way.

I don't know what it is. There's just something about a bare behind that really gives me the giggles. After all, every rear end does have a wise crack! (sorry, sometimes I can't help myself) No, but really... butts are truly amusing, don't you think? Everything about them... the smooth and squishy "cheeks," the strategically placed "crack." This must say a lot about my sense of humor... is there a name for this?

This little boy is simply too cool for words...

You must imagine my absolute excitement when I found, in the children's isle at Barnes & Nobles, a book entitled The Day My Butt Went Psycho!. Like any 8 year old boy, I (not quite 20 at the time) nearly wet my pants with excitement. The title alone had me drooling with anticipation. How brilliant! After flipping through and reading several passages aloud to my mother, I skipped to the check-out counter to buy the coolest book of all time.

"An epic tale of one brave boy and his crazy, runaway butt. Can Zack save the earth from butts gone berserk? Can he defeat the biggest, ugliest, meanest butt the world has ever seen? More important- will Zack and his butt ever find true happiness?"

It's really so entertaining. The first page warns, "If you are a parent or a teacher or even if you're just over 18, put this book down now! You won't like it. You won't understand it. You will be totally grossed out by it." Hmmm... I wonder what this says about me? I encourage you to and go and play the "Move Your Butt" game on the publisher's website!

Did I mention I've been thinking about getting a tattoo?!?!

And a photo from one of my favorite artists... Spencer Tunick... famous for gathering thousands upon thousands of bare butts in one place at one time and capturing it all on film!